DEAR DUMB DIARY
SIGNS
I keep seeing, hearing things everywhere. The kind of things that are supposedly coincidences. But I swear they’re trying to tell me something. They’re screaming at me, trying to get my attention. Or maybe I’m just seeing things, trying to convince myself that something that doesn’t exist is trying to tell me something I want to hear. That something, somewhere out there is trying to guide me.
Are they signs, or have I just gained some hyperawareness for the subject since I've thought about it?
And even though I believe in this form of guidance that probably is just an over-active imagination, I can't bring myself to believe in a God. Because if I do believe that some greater being is in control of everything, I can't help but think that all these things are here just to punish me.
TarotMother dearest found her tarot cards and gave them to me for some reason, though I never asked.
Anyway, I tried to use them, asking about
- Life in general- Life - romantically
...
Romantically, my best outcome is represented by The Fool. The Fool is driven by impulse and lack of sense/experiences. That would be my
best outcome. But surely an outcome that will never manifest.
However, my final outcome is represented by Justice. For both 'questions', if you can call them that.
But Justice for who? Me, or everyone else? Who’s opinion of justice? Mine, or theirs? What
is their opinion? I know what I think they think, but is that really what they think?
This leads me to one final question:
What is justice?Do you ever find that posting your inane thoughts on a blog somehow causes them to lose meaning? In my head, they seem thoughtful. But if I post them on here, they seem like a bunch of stupid words, desperate for acknowledgement.
They seem stupid, because I realise people who read it probably won’t understand them the way I do.
They won’t understand them, because they’re not me.
Or maybe they will understand them. But they're still not me.
I keep seeing, hearing things everywhere. The kind of things that are supposedly coincidences. But I swear they’re trying to tell me something. They’re screaming at me, trying to get my attention. Or maybe I’m just seeing things, trying to convince myself that something that doesn’t exist is trying to tell me something I want to hear. That something, somewhere out there is trying to guide me.